Starting point

I took my lil puppy on a road trip over the holidays to visit my dear cousins and their families.  As the way I move has become so strange and cumbersome, I was lamenting my weight gain as an explanation.  I am 5'8" and now weigh 252.  One cousin challenged me.   She said, "You know what you have to do" (to lose the weight.)  She's absolutely right.  I have lost fifty to eighty pounds on three separate occasions, about five years apart, and I know how to do it.  I now need to lose 100+ pounds.  And, I want this to be the last time. 

How I got here

There is a very active tomboyish girl inside me.  However, she has succumbed to social pressure at the end of prior weight losses.  Instead of maintaining the high level of activity that keeps me healthy, I become preoccupied with cosmetics and new wardrobes, and the weight creeps back on.  Once it's back on, inertia sets in and you know the rest.

Why change?

I have never weighed this much before, and it is very uncomfortable.  And a see a "sickness spiral" starting, if I don't change.  Among the issues:

Inflammation -  I have a cast on one arm due to tennis elbow and have had cortisone shots in the opposite shoulder due to inflammation, brought on by my prolonged unhealthy eating habits.  This is very painful, and led my Orthopedist to prescribe Naproxen, which was starting to give me ulcers!!!  I stopped the Naproxen and moved to Tylenol XL, but I hate. taking. pills!!

Knee pain - My legs are not strong enough to lift my weight normally.  I have to push up with my hands.  I thought I had developed a "smooth" way to do this, and told myself I was keeping my arms strong by doing so.  I pretended I was inconspicuous about it.  With the advent of the inflammation issues (above) I have to push up on an elbow!!  It is very conspicuous and makes me look MUCH older than my thirty-elevens!! 

Sitting on the floor/ground - I can't get up, without rolling over on all fours!!  I discovered this while out in the park.  Painful on the knees and VERY embarrassing!!

Getting into/out of my car - a very clumsy undertaking for me, these days.  Always limping afterward, due to some type of leg pain.

Exercise - Exercise hurts.  I'm using an hour of power walking, 4-5x per week and I am so stiff afterwards that I'm scared to stretch!  But I know that's what I need to do.  I am accustomed to shredding my quads, but this is bone and joint pain.  Very difficult to work through/around.

CLOTHES - I cannot fit ANYTHING!!!  I had to buy new jeans, tops and new EXERCISE TOPS!!!  Those were all XL!!!  My old exercise pants are rolling down, my exercise tops are gripping my stomach and rolling up... I have booty-do!! I am 20 pounds out of my underwear!  I still wear my bras, they just bruise me.  I had to move up in panty size.

What's on my side is that I *know* I can do it.  This extended beginning period (slow-starting because of the pain) is just a phase through which I will have to move. (sigh)